I have finally figured myself out.

This thing I'm doing with Effie? It's what I would always do right before I realized I just had to RP a particular character. Obsessing about her characterization. Working out her voice in my head. Focussing on every tiny detail, every reaction, every inflection in line delivery. Trying to work out headcanons and all that shit. Rewatching the movie over and over and over and over...

How did I not recognize that until just now?!

I don't think I am ready to go back to RPing (if I ever will) but at least now I get what's going on in my own head here. Kind of a relief.